I have pursued theatre intensely for the better part of my life, but my motivation has changed and grown as I have grown as an artist. The youngest me would have told you that I had way more interests than I could possibly pursue in a lifetime, and I discovered that as an actor I could pretend to be most of them. I could have fictional careers as a lawyer, or professor, or marine biologist, or politician, or professional athlete, few of which I could complete in any satisfactory manner in a lifetime. A slightly older me would say that I loved performing; I loved putting on a costume and taking the stage. The act of being on stage under the lights was thrilling, exciting, and incredibly appealing. The newly-minted adult version of me no longer found performance to be the best moment in the creative process. In fact, the anxiety-ridden adult I became sometimes found final products to be constricting.

Don’t misunderstand, current me still finds solace in the process of learning and rewriting and changing and mistake-making and growing that’s possible before a piece is set or a shot is filmed. That is why I’ve continued to feel like stage work is a safe space; I can be in a show for weeks, or months, or years, and in that time, I can grow and define and strengthen my character work and performance. That, to me, is so rewarding that I can always reach for more, always improve; I will never be truly stagnant when I’m in that creative space.

The version of me I am now has a renewed love of film (though my love of theatre has not waned). Filmed performance feels out of my hands in a way that is both terrifying and thrilling. There’s a wonderful freedom that comes from being able to play freely and let someone else decide what bits of you to keep and which to scrap. Film makes me feel delightfully small and insignificant in the way that my judgment, though still there, doesn’t matter nearly as much as it does on a stage.

All of that is to say, I crave mental stimulation that can only be produced as an artist. I want to bring stories to life through my lens and body and mind. I often have so many thoughts and ideas about art and characters and storytelling; in the moments I get to utilize them, I find that I am made better as a human being and actor, and there’s truly no other career I can see for myself outside of that of an actor.  Though I know I still have so much to learn, I will challenge what it means to create boldly without fear. I want my career to be defined by my part in a generation of actors who create with love and care for marginalized communities and make beautiful, cathartic art that honors us with casts and creative teams that identify with us. I aim to lead by example and create fearlessly with unending curiosity and cultural awareness.